Out of Control Toddler | What’s Really Happening

Out of Control Toddler | What’s Really Happening


out of control toddlerOut of Control Toddler

I was fortunate with my children {okay, just really my son.}. Whenever he would get out of line, talk back or begin to be argumentative, we would take away his privileges.  The few that I remember the most were his “oil painting privileges” and his “jump up and down privileges.” The lack of these things in his life that he never really used devastated him at the thought of losing it and would almost immediately correct his behavior and we could get back to life as normal.

The only testing period that stands out in my mind is when I told him not to touch the stove with his hands and he sat on the floor and touched it with his toes as he giggled. Ah… he was such an easy child.

Then… there was his sister. You know, the second born with all the stereotypical characteristics of a second born. First, she was talking FULL sentences by two and negotiating beyond her years. This alone was a trying time for us as we had this tiny little person who should be saying stuff like “what’s that?” would be intelligently arguing with us. We were not prepared for this and really didn’t know how to handle her “controlling” behavior. Our pediatrician informed us that it was normal for a child to question a parent or try to control them as they are developing away from us and into their own person. {This was before the internet was popular and resources were available.}

None of our parenting techniques worked with her as she was head strong, overly opinionated and wouldn’t listen to our reasoning. SHE WAS 2 – how can you reason with a 2 year old!

Unfortunately for us, the only thing that worked for us was to put her in her room and leave her by herself. Ah… our little social butterfly HATED to be alone! While the reasoning didn’t work, she soon found out that if she was “acting up” she would be put in time out in her room – ALONE.

While every child and every situation is different therefore what works for one will not work for another… the best thing to do is to understand WHY they are doing this. Once you understand the development stages of your child mentally and emotionally, you will be able to find what works for your family.

For a great resource, check out the National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families.

The year between age 2 and age 3 is an exciting one. Toddlers are realizing that they are separate individuals from their parents and caregivers. This means that they are driven to assert themselves, to communicate their likes and dislikes, and to act independently (as much as they can!). Toddlers are also developing the language skills that help them express their ideas, wants, and needs.

At the same time, toddlers do not understand logic and still have a hard time with waiting and self-control. In a nutshell: Two-year-olds want what they want when they want it. This is why you may be hearing things like “no” and “me do it” and “no diaper change!” more than ever before.

Out of Control Toddler